


If you think you won, you're right

by Winnetou



Series: In the fumes of the absurd [4]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Sexual Tension, and maybe a little fluff, unexpected stucky at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 09:14:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16489799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winnetou/pseuds/Winnetou
Summary: Loki decided to take revenge on Stephen, but something did not work out. His accomplices, in turn, did it all too well. And why are everyone but Stephen surprised by the development of the situation?





	If you think you won, you're right

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Jeśli wydaje ci się, że wygrałeś, to masz rację](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13820658) by [Winnetou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winnetou/pseuds/Winnetou). 



> Here it is - the finial and crowning of the series (or at least I have sincere hope for it). This series has diverged with canon more than the pug's eyes, so do not even try to look for logic here. And if you did not expect it, believe me, me too ;)

Another quiet day in New York was coming to an end. Some of the residents were going home to rest, and some were just trying to get out of hiding. Some people, however, argued about what film to watch.

For some unknown reasons, Tony and Clint have set themselves the point of honour of educating their two "old-fashioned" friends on the cinema classics. While Steve approached the idea with reserve, Thor was even its enthusiast, because he quickly became convinced that watching movies together was a great excuse to lie on the couch, drink beer and eat snack. That's why all three of them (Cap escaped, explaining himself saying he have a date in which they did not believe him anyway) lolled in front of the big plasma in the living room. Thor had to settle for the armchair, because Tony and Clint were the first to catch the couch. Stark leaned back in comfort, and Barton lay back, throwing his legs at him.

"So we all agree to _Star Wars_ , right? " Tony asked.  
"Sure," Clint said, and Thor just nodded. It did not matter to him as long as there was enough beer.  
"Which part are we starting from? I think we should watch it in Episode Order so that Thor can get a good idea."  
"Watching in the Release Order it seem more interesting to me" Clint protested. "It's best to turn it on the Machete Order in the first place. Everyone knows that the _Phantom Menace_ sucks. "  
"You will not insult _Star Wars_ in my living room!" Tony said indignantly. "And since it's my living room, we watch it my way" decided authoritarily and to spite archer, he turned on the _Phantom Menace_.

However, they were not allowed to savour the classic, because before the yellow subtitles passed, the showing was brutally interrupted, because Loki suddenly materialized in front of the screen.

"Hello, brother," Thor lifted the bottle in a gesture of greeting. The unexpected appearance of the Trickster did not impress him anymore, which could not be said of the other two men. Tony yelled and Clint choked on the beer.

"Relax, friends," Thor said hurriedly. "Loki is as if on our side now. "  
"And what is this statement “as if on our side”?" Tony asked, peeking suspiciously at Loki and at the same time whacking Clint in the back.  
"He no longer has murderous plans for Midgard. Right, Loki?" Thor turned to his brother.  
"Not for the moment," Loki admitted in a tone that clearly showed that these plans might change. "I'm here because I have an offer for you."  
"What kind of?" Barton finally regained his breath and now he glanced at the younger Odinson.  
"I want you to delivered me a certain individual."

The three Avengers looked at each other. Curiosity fought in them with distrust supported by experience.

"And who is it supposed to be, if you cannot deliver him to yourself?" Tony asked, crossing his arms over his chest.  
"And more importantly – what will we get from it?" Clint added.

Loki looked at them and calculated how much he could reveal. It did not last long, because he really knew he had no choice.

"Stephen Strange," he finally said. Thor acknowledged this with a mocking snort, and Loki gave him a murderous look. "It seems that my magic is not too... effective against him."  
"You're kidding?" Tony disbelieved.  
"He’s not kidding," Thor replied instead of his brother. "After one of their meetings, Loki did not want to leave his room for a week. I wonder where this trauma comes from..."  
"Shut up, Thor!" Loki hissed.  
"Okay, let's say we agree," Barton interjected, before another family quarrel came. "What do you suggest in return?"  
"Twelve hours at the Golden Apple Inn in Wanaheim. At my expense," said Loki.

The name said nothing to the Earthlings, but Thor whistled, which sounded promising.

"The Golden Apple Inn is Wanaheim's largest and most expensive inn," Thor explained dreamily. "They have drinks of all the Nine Realms and all food you can imagine. Even as a prince I was there only a few times, but for Odin's beard, each of them was memorable. In addition, Wanaheim is the home of the gods of fertility. And goddesses, of course" he added suggestively moving his eyebrows.

Tony and Clint's eyes glowed at the description, but Thor seemed adamant.

"Do you really think, my brother, that a mere twelve hours in the finest tavern of the universe will convince us to attack our friend, companion in battle, a wonderful and intelligent person..."

Loki cursed and gritted his teeth.

"Twenty four hours."  
"Done!"

***

"Tony, do you really think it will work?" Clint once again felt doubt. He and Stark sat behind some bushes in the park and waited for their victim to appear in sight.  
"Yes, yes. Rather, it should definitely work. I think..."  
"No fuck, Tony!"  
"It'll work," Tony stopped joking, because it seemed Clint's initial enthusiasm was beginning to disappear. "I analysed his techniques and came to the conclusion that the keys to them are the gestures he performs. If we effectively immobilize him, he will be defenceless."

This way, now, they was lurking at Dr. Strange with something that looked like stiff fetters, but also covering his arms and hands. Of course, Stark's project.

"Anyway, I analysed the skills of all my friends and enemies to set the hook..."  
"Shut up, it will be here soon," Barton interrupted his boast.

According to what they fixed, Stephen was walking around with his dog in the park near Sanctum Sanctorm at the same time every day. It was a perfect opportunity to play kidnappers.

Indeed, after a moment from behind the bend of the alley, Dr. Strange emerged, leading a pug on a leash.

"Does he never take off this moronic outfit?" Tony was surprised.  
"And why is his dog dressed the way he does?" Clint told him.

At the same moment Thor came in, who, as if nothing had happened, came out from behind a nearby tree.

"Ah, Mr. Odinson," Stephen greeted politely.  
"Mr. Strange," Thor nodded.  
"What brings you to me? Could Loki want to see me again?"  
"You can put it this way... "

Thor caught one arm of the man with a quick move, while Tony, assisted by the armour, immobilized the other. The wizard did not even have time to shout when Clint leapt to him and put on fetters, which immediately immobilized his hands, from palm to elbow.

Everything lasted no longer than a minute and was intended to take place in complete silence, so as not to attract attention. The first part of the plan worked out perfectly, but they had some problems with silence, because as soon as they attacked Strange, his pug threw himself to the rescue. He barked and snarled furiously, trying to bite each one and everyone at once. And he almost succeeded.

"What is this ungodly creature?!" Tony marvelled, picking up the dog for the skin on the back of his neck.  
"Leave Lord Admiral, you brutal!" Stephen shouted.  
"Seriously?" Stark looked at him with a mixture of disbelief and pity. "It looks more like a cross between a piranha and a demon. I'm sure that if I let him go, he would try to devour my soul," he said.

The cross of the piranhas and the demon tried to break free and perhaps it actually had an appetite for some soul, judging from the sounds it made out of itself.

"You're ignorant! My pug is... "  
"... a spawn of hell, as I repeat every time," Loki finished instead him. He suddenly appeared in the place of all the confusion.  
"I do not know what it is, but certainly not a dog," Tony had to insist. "He BIT OFF a piece of my armour and did not even get tired of it. Dogs do not do that. In any case, normal dogs. "

Before Stephen could once again stand up for Lord Admiral Nelson, Loki waved a hand and a silver tape appeared on the man's lips. Strange was boiling with impotent and, from now on, silent anger.

"We've made our part," Thor said, watching as the pug and his master tried unsuccessfully to free themselves. "I hope you will also keep yours."  
"But my brother, have I ever given you a reason..." Loki began haughtily, but he cut short of seeing Thor's raised eyebrows. "OK, nevermind. I'll only take him to a safe place and come back for you."

Loki disappeared with Strange, and the three Avengers were alone in the park, in which the night had long ago fallen.

"Do you think that he will not screw us?" Clint asked Thor.  
"I hope," Odinson did not look too convinced.  
"Gentlemen, what are we going to do with _this_?" Tony said, still holding the pug. The pug was still growling. "I'm pretty sure he devours souls."  
"Show me him" Thor took the dog and began to scratch his back. The animal calmed down immediately, and only the right back paw jerked ridiculously.  
"Thor, God of Pugs," Clint muttered under his breath and turned to Tony. "Are you really have a hook on us all?"  
"I have," said Stark, without taking his eyes off Thor and Lord Admiral, who seemed to have just become the best buddies.  
"What do you have on me?"  
"Oh, it's easy with you – you have to either blind you or get drunk," Tony explained.

Clint was about to protest, but after a brief reflection, he decided that it was a logical assumption.

"What do you have on Thor?"  
"Lightning arrester."

***

Loki quickly and easily sent his three helpers to Wanaheim, so that there, in peace or not, they could ruin their livers and remnants of dignity. Then he returned to one of his numerous and well hidden hiding places, where he moved Stephen Strange.

Stephen was sitting in a chair, tied to him as Loki had once at their first meeting. Trickster stood in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest, in his immaculate black suit, and he watched him closely. Strange gave him an equally attentive look. Loki was starting to get nervous because the prisoners should not be so calm.

He went around his prisoner several times so that he would not stand like a knob. He was silent at the same time to give the impression that he was thinking, though he did not really know what to say. He did not expect that everything would go so well. Loki wanted to get even on Strange for everything he did to him, but he did not really know what he wanted to do. Indeed, he threatened him with a cruel and painful death, but when it came to it, he had no intention of killing him. Perhaps he will stab him a few times with a dagger, only in principle.

Finally, he stood in front of Stephen again and, not without a dose of personal satisfaction, he stripped the tape from his mouth. The man impressed him because, despite the obvious pain, he only hissed and winced slightly.

"Nice to see you again, Loki."

Trickster snorted on this nonchalant greeting..

"Your situation is rather not optimistic," he reminded him.  
"Oh, I would not say it's that bad," Stephen replied cheerfully. "I'm here with you, which in total suits my plans, although in fact these shackles make it difficult to interact."  
"You would not be so happy if you knew what was going to happen to you," Loki growled, because the prisoner's good mood was on his nerves.  
"I cannot wait for you to tell me what you will do to me," Strange said, and licked his lips without taking his eyes from Loki, who suddenly lost all his resoluteness and fell silent.  
"Well, what are your plans for me?" The sorcerer asked again as the silence lengthened.  
"Certainly something long-lasting and painful," Trickster said, and went to the window to gain time. "Depend on my creativity."  
"I really count on it," admitted Stephen, "but if you do not have anything specific in mind, let me give you some ideas."  
"What's this supposed to...?" Loki began, turning away, but at the same moment he was violently leaning against the wall.  
"Forgive my sluggishness, but Stark is a really ingenious person," said Stephen, holding the Asgardian's hands.  
"How did you...?" Loki stammered surprised.  
"How did I free myself? Well, I have very nimble fingers and some hidden talents that you may soon discover," Stephen muttered in his ear.  
"Leave me alone!" Loki growled, who finally managed to control himself.  
"You really want it?" The other man raised an eyebrow questioningly.  
"Of course!"  
"It seems to me that this is not entirely true."

They eyed each other in silence. Loki was the first who turned his head.

"You see, Loki," Stephen said, "the first time I really did with you against your will, I admit. However, I did not force you to come to me in the second or the third time. These were your decisions."  
"Recently Thor has forced me," Loki reminded him dryly.  
"And you certainly could not find a way to avoid it?"

Loki's silence was very meaningful.

"And finally today. You imprisoned me, it's true, but what for? If you wanted to kill me or torture me, you would have done it, and yet you did not even think about it. I warned you that I would make you come back to me. And you came back. Three times, although the latter may not be quite my way. What do you want from me, Loki?"

Loki finally dared to look at Stephen's incredibly bright eyes, who, of course, had deciphered him flawlessly. Their first meeting, beyond helpless rage and shame, also sowed in him a fascination that germinated slowly and unnoticed until it grew into desire. A frightfully strong desire, which Strange easily saw in his wide open green eyes.

"I've told you that I want not only your strength, magic and knowledge. It's part of who you are and from the very beginning I want you all."

The trembling fingers traced Loki's jawline, giving him goose bumps. Strange leaned closer and their breaths mixed in those few centimetres of space that still separated them from each other. Stephen put other hand on the back of Trickster's neck, his fingers in his raven-black hair.

Loki was furious again – at himself, at his indecision and fear. Doing everything in spite became kind of his habit, so it was hard for him to behave differently. He swallowed loudly and decided that since he had fallen for him a long time ago, so why not check out how far he can fall. He took a deep breath and reached for the other man's lips.

***

If it were not for the fact that the Avengers Tower's living room door was sliding, it would probably open with a bang, because the sight that Natasha, Steve and Bruce saw had asked for it. And the view was Thor, who was carrying Tony Stark on the back, and it seemed to suits Tony very well. Barton rolled into the living room when he managed to go through the door after the second attempt.

"Welcome friends!" Thor shouted happily.  
"Hi," Nat muttered. "Where have you gone? You disappeared for twenty-four hours."  
"Heaven," Tony said vaguely, who was unceremoniously thrown onto the couch. "It must have been heaven."

The sober three exchanged a surprised look.

"I showed them the charms of other Yggdrasil's lands," Thor explained.  
"And you did not invite us?" Banner sounded disappointed.  
"We can always do it again," Thor beamed even more, if at all possible.  
"Oh, nooo…" Clint moaned from the level of the floor, which proved to be the most stable for him. "No, no, nooo... Give me my bow, I'll shoot myself!"  
"What did you pour in you?" Steve asked, leaning over Tony and sniffing.  
"I guess everything, but literally, _everything_ ," Tony grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him closer. "Steve, if you only saw all these... What have you got there?"

When Tony grabbed Cap's shirt, it slid off a little, revealing a red mark on his collarbone. Rogers jumped back quickly and became confused, as though he were nineteen, not ninety.

"That's nothing," he said and quickly adjusted his shirt.  
"So, you were on a date!" Clint did not hide his surprise. The floor still did not let him out of embrace.  
"And you told me that you should see Bucky..." Bruce frowned.

There was a silence during which the facts were quickly linked.

"Nooo..." Clint began.  
"Yes!" Nat shouted.  
"But you..." Bruce was still frowning, staring at Steve, who turned red, mumbled something about fatigue, and ran away.  
"Remind me later that I should feel jealous!" Tony shouted after him.  
"Someone will tell me, why he is still behaving like a teenager, when it comes to this matters?" Natasha asked, but no one could answer her.  
"So one more time – where were the three of you?" Bruce turned to Thor, who seemed the least drunk.

Thor, very floridly and with a flourish worthy of a better cause, began to talk about their adventure. Meanwhile, Clint crawled to the couch and leaned against it.

"What if Strange breaks free and he will want to hurt us a bit as part of revenge for imprisonment?" he asked, because despite the low blood content in his alcohol, this case bothered him a bit.  
"Don't worry your pretty little head," Tony said sleepily. "My brilliant intellect made sure for a little win-win for each of the sides."  
"It means?"  
"I told him how to open those cuffs without a key."

***

"It was... It was..."  
"You see, I said I had agile fingers."  
"But you did not mention anything about the tongue."


End file.
